Hello. What is this? A letter by email? I am giving this a try because some of my favorite reading lately has been letters by email (the cool kids call them newsletters). I like this long-form writing that mixes in photos and links.
I am on a three-day writing retreat with a wonderful friend, the kind so generous that they offer their brand new house to me so I can escape to the Berkshires. There’s so much sky out here. I am breathing in all this pumpkiny, apply, Fall air, and I don’t even like Fall.
As a matter, of fact, and this is the WHOLE POINT of this newsletter: I generally hate Fall. Actually, I specifically hate Fall. This time last year was when I started reading Wintering by Katherine May, and it saved me by reminding me that we all have our seasons. Fall and Winter are for getting dark, hunkering down, and sometimes--often if you're me--being sad.
When Anne Helen Petersen of Culture Study wrote about Fall regression, I immediately dropped everything, (including the dinner I was cooking--sorry boys!) to respond to her. I FINALLY felt like someone understood this achey-breaky time. So many parts of the piece resonated with me, and also reminded me of how I might approach this time of year with my own preservation in mind. The last part of the newsletter ended with a call for community.
So, I this is what happened:
Thu Nguyen
Oct 17
I just described myself to a friend this way: "You might want to take everything I say with not a grain but a whole sea of salt because it is Fall, which is, for me, the slow descent into a bleak winter. It's my hard season." I feel like my skin is see-through, and everything gets under it because I am that sensitive. And yes, I am wearing a sweater, and it's nice to wear a sweater and mostly athleisure, but I know that the line is so thin between this luxurious laziness and feeling like I just give up on everything. Because even the daylight is giving up. Also, I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way, but it seems even harder because I KNOW this season is coming. It happens every year, and yet, I am ALWAYS surprised by how it affects me. The surprise is a real one-two punch.
Anne Helen Petersen
Oct 17
AUTHOR
Oh this is so, so beautifully put. I am jealous of how beautifully put this is, really.
The community responded! Immediately and in droves. It's my little viral moment. It began with Anne responding first, which sent me into a tailspin of whooping, pride, and embarrassment. Someone whose writing and thinking I admire immensely said that she is "jealous" of "how beautifully put" my words were. I die.
And today, days later, a total stranger named Wyn (destiny, I tell you) responded to my original comment to say "This is me, to a T. Thank you for putting it into words." My cold heart just got all soft and weepy.
Now I have renewed energy for writing and even rejection. So here I am writing to you, and sending out essays and poems into the writerverse. One publication just rejected me THE VERY SAME DAY I sent out my submission. They didn't want what I wrote, and they needed to let me know pronto. It's ok though. I can do this. It won't always be rejection. It won't always be Fall. Sometimes it will be golden, and people will write back, and the world will feel less like trees shedding leaves, and more like they are bracing themselves, steadying for what's to come.
I hope you're well. Reach out. I won't reject you, I promise.
Yours,
Thu
*****
This last bit of nonsense is stuff I like. These tidbits might be great companions for you for hunkering down. If you enjoy anything from there, let me know.
What I am reading (and loving because why am I telling you things I hate?):
The inspiring newsletters that got me here:
Culture Study by Anne Helen Petersen (duh)
Home Culture by Meg Conley
Mothers Under the Influence by Kathryn Jezer-Morton (the most recent one about Momfluencers and their letterboards is so engrossing, you will forget to eat your lunch and hen wonder why you are hungry)
Books:
The Actual Star by Monica Byrne
The Ugly Cry by Danielle Henderson
Miss Moriarty, I Presume? by Sherry Thomas
The Cost of Living by Deborah Levy (This book is a memoir, and a slim beauty. Have I ever underlined a book so much? Cried so much? I am now deep in a Deborah Levy rabbit hole, and I never want to leave.)
*this book list is so inexhaustive, it’s comical. I am also reading at the same time dozens of books that I have to review, some great, and I can’t wait to tell you about them, and some so forgettable, I can’t even remember--what was I talking about?
What I am eating:
I have this new rule that I don’t eat anything I have to cook for lunch. It’s been liberating. You know what tastes great?! Furikake on avocado. I mean, Furikake on everything, but avo especially.
I am also newly obsessed with hibiscus tea. I have no idea if this makes any scientific sense, but it helps me sleep, and I am not a good sleeper. I am a tremendously restless sleeper, and the hibiscus tea before bed soothes me. We all know a soothed Thu is a better Thu.